evolosophy/grad school Endings end. Beginnings begin. Life meanders.
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So... where are we?
Publish: 2024-03-05 16:11:00
Categories: life

Shit.

How do I even start this?

You know although this is a new blog, in my mind, it's largely a continuation of my original blog... just with a 10 year gap. 😂 So... where are we?

Shit.

Well, umm, short version? Short version is that everything got fucked. And by "everything" I mean EVERYTHING. And by fucked... haha... I mean REALLY, REALLY, BURNT-TO-THE-GROUND fucked. I'm not sure how much of that particular story I'll share here. It's enough of a story that, if it's to be shared, it'll likely need it's own blog. Quite honestly, to tell the story correctly, it'll probably have to be told semi-anonymously to avoid pissing off some folks (i.e. - my family).

Without telling long stories, it's fair to say that I've been pretty busy these last few years being very angry, very confused and all-around less than awesome.

After quitting my job at Intel back in 2020, I spent a year working as an indepenent consultant.

I then took most of 2021 off, on a sabbatical. Then in 2022 I started my own company and worked on that semi-diligently for about a year and half. But by November 2023, after 3 product attempts and 3 failures, the reality that any path to success was significantly further than my bank account allowed, and I would have to return to work.

I've done some job searching and have a had mediocre results. Of the jobs I've wanted, I didn't get a single offer. However, along the way, I have gotten 5 or 6 offers for jobs I was qualified for, but didn't want. It's more than a little frustrating, but so much more in the context of the rest of life fucking me this past decade.

That's the "professional" front.

Geographically, I've relocated from Portland to Seattle. Umm... yeah, that was a bad move too (I'm sure I'll share more one of these days)

Along the way, as I receded into anger and self-absorbtion, I did a wonderful job of completely obliterating pretty much my entire social circle. I've been a difficult person to be around and, understably, most people chose to stop being around me. I understand why and hold nothing against them; I can be an ass.

Finally, there was the girl. Our time ended before the "Life 2.0" adventure... though it should never have. Sadly, when an opportunity came to maybe, possibly, hopefully? fix things... well... I just wasn't available. In matters of the heart, I have failed hardest and hurt most - almost entirely due to my own stupidity and immaturity.

Oh... and financially. Haha.. hahahaha. Oh man. I can assure you 3 years of being self-employed (ha!) while generating zero dollars of income (ha! ha!) has absolutely ravaged my bank account. My ability to fund my life will, soon enough, become an issue.

By almost every life measure, I've failed. We can gloss over it as much as we want, but these are the facts and this is where I've taken myself.

So... now, what?

I've been struggling with that question for longer than I care to admit (though it's quite likely that I'll end up admitting more and more throughout this blog), but after A LOT of meandering, there's a small chance that I may have found something to grab onto as the "next" for now: grad school.

Starting late last year, I've applied to half a dozen or so grad schools, all for Data Science. Data Science is the overarching field that contains AI (artificial intelligence). If things work out smoothly, I'll go back to grad school and shift my career from electrical engineering to data science.

If that is my near future, then we are currently at the embryonic stage of the whole adventure. Hence the blog. 🙂

So this where I am. On the heels of failure, having damaged much of my life, with more than half my lifespan completed, I'm here, still trying to figure out how to Life.

In time, we'll go into some of these topics in much more depth... but I hope this blog to be more forward-looking than backwards. Like I said earlier, that story will need it's own place. Here, let's look to the future.

In the coming weeks I expect to hear back from the US gov't regarding my financial aid. I'm also waiting to hear back from several universities regarding my application. Nothing is taking shape yet... but things are getting close enough that they are threatening to do so. I guess it's a good time to start a blog. 😉

So yeah, here we are. Honestly, I've tried blogging several times since ending my previous one and it's never stuck, so I'm genuinely unsure how this one will go. No promises. 🙂

But, if it does stick... we're going to go down this path together.

To those of you still around: I do love you guys, thanks for still being here.

To those that join along the way: welcome to the show. 😋

Welcome friends. 🙂

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one day. possibly.