I just signed a lease.

I don't move-in until the 24th. I have to get shit set up like insurance and utilities. But the lease, is signed.

I'm committed for the the next year. In Septempter, I'll pay the first semester's tuition. At that point, I'll be committed for the next 2 years or so.

I don't know, I'm strangely comfortable floating.

Yet, suddenly... I'm anchored.

Did I make the right choice? Choices? In any of this? I dunno. I don't. Immediately though, an ice ball settled into my stomach as soon as I clicked the 'sign' button. I'm locked in.

I won't lie... I'm worried that I'm setting myself up to repeat history... again.

I'm almost 50. 😐

Oof.... OK. So, we'll get back to positive in the next post, I hope... but for now, I'm just sharing it real-time. It's scary, it's frustrating, and I can't tell if it reeks of desperation or it's really me taking one more stab at finding some level of stability and whatever.

But I'm here. Whatever I started has officially begun.

😐