Last post, I was a day away from starting school. I commented that I had been slow to post, in part, because things had "been a bit of a clusterfuck". Well, we're beyond just "a bit" at this point.

Bottom Line

I'm really not sure what to say without going into it full-on, and tonight I don't think I want to write a novel. The bottom line is this: I was wrong. I was wrong about Univ. Michigan - Dearborn.

Flat out wrong.

This isn't "an extension" or "sister campus" of University of Michigan. No, this is a commuter school.

This is a high school. They take attendance like it's grade school, and threaten nonsense like "pop quizzes" if attendance drops. Yes, I'm talking about a graduate school program.

Registration has been a nightmare. I've already gotten into my first, umm, altercation?, with a teacher here. I've sat in the offices of and complained to both, the Dean of my college and Chair of the Data Science program. Within the first two days of the term.

Yes, I'm quickly making friends. 😐

And they seem to love group projects here... which... 😠

It's not all bad, but it's pretty much all bad.

One of my classes may end up one the most boring classes I've ever taken. This is the mandatory "Fundamentals of Database Systems" class. Did you just fall asleep reading that title? Yeah, that's about right.

I'm also taking an "Intelligent Systems" class that introduces some of the smaller machine-learning technologies in concert with their use in physical systems. So, honestly, this could be a super, super fun and interesting class for me. So, like I said, it's not all bad.

My third class, "Intro to Big Data", is on Mondays (tomorrow as I write this) and so it was missed last week due to Labor Day. This week will be the first class.

So...?

There's much else to talk about. School stuff, and non-school stuff. But for tonight we're keeping it short.

So... then what's the story with the Masters? Well... I'm here now, so I'm going to have to make it work. I'll explain more when I share more details later on, but my tussle with the schmuck of a teacher was with a teacher in the College of Business... so while he's a complete cunt, it's largely a reflection on the CoB and (hopefully) not the school at-large.

My experience with the College of Engineering & Computer Sciences folks... where the MSDS degree program is housed, is a mix of really positive, and slightly disappointing. But even with "slightly disappointing" it wasn't due to people acting like assholes, but rather a... ummm... an unfortunately lethargic individual or two in positions you'd want to see occupied by more energetic folks. 😐

How's that for vague? 🙂 I'll keep my lethargic friend(s) anonymous, let's not burn bridges just yet... 😉

So anyway, as of now... there's still a tiny chance I may relocate to another apartment (I have 2 more weeks to decide)... but they've fixed many of the issues and there are other fires to fight right now.

I'm here, at UMD, for the foreseeable future. There's a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny chance that I find a way out if I do something maybe a little crazy... but let's see about that too. 🙂

There are two angles I am looking into...

1. Is there an option to transfer to Ann Arbor, maybe even just for the 2nd year?
2. And also... hahah.... well, I sent an email to CUNY to ask if I can defer my starting term by one term and start in the Winter.

Pack up, move to NY, live in my car again, find a place to live again, and then try this once more. Crazy-person shit, right? Again, it's not likely...

Let's see. 🙂

Meanwhile, my stuff is still my storage pod. I've paid for another month of rent on it. I still have no knife, pan or air fryer. Or furniture.

The struggle is real. 🙂

Well, as far as blogging goes, I have not kept up well. There's been quite a few posts that I could've / should've written these past few weeks. But I haven't because, by and large, it's been a bit of a clusterfuck. But, luckily, only a bit.

As a micro catch up, I'm sitting in my apartment, although there's a tiny chance I'll be moving out in the next couple of weeks. Admittedly, it's becoming more and more tiny of a chance. But the bottom line is renting in Michigan is ass. 🙂 More details to come.

This isn't a renting blog though, is it?

So... about school, the micro catch up here is that I'm registered, but wait listed for one class and can't register for another because the school is still figuring out how to be a school apparently. More details to come. 🙂

The rest? Since I may still move, I can't get my furniture, hence I still have no furniture. The same goes for internet service. But honestly, a fucking pan and a chef's knife would be a godsend at this point. Yes, I could buy another one but: a) I don't wannna buy something shitty enough that I'd have to worry about cooking my food in and b) I don't wanna buy something good enough that I would want to use it, but then would get rid of it when I unpack my real ones - it just feels wasteful. Also, I haven't forwarded/turned-on my mail yet. And so on, and so on.

More details to come. 🙂

But but but... none of that is what matters now! No no, I had to get on tonight and write a quick post to mark the occasion. Tomorrow, friends, marks the end of the prologue. Tomorrow, friends, is the the actual start of the story (finally). Tomorrow, dear friends, is my first day as a graduate student. 😀 😀

Haha, honestly, as I type this out, I don't even remember which class it is. And, honestly, I'm too tired to go look it up.

I won't lie, I wanted to have gotten a lot more done before this point. Including catching up on some school stuff, as well as doing some solid resting (and yes, even fixing some of the stupid blog issues). These last 2 months have been a gigantic pain in the ass. And, though I'm not as prepared or set up as I would like to be... you know what? I'm pretty happy anyway. Nothing's worked out as planned, but when has it ever? Who gives a shit. I'm a fucking grad student mother fuckers! 🙂

And you know what else? Missed in the micro catch up up there, was welcoming day, which absolutely deserves it's own post. But I've already met several interesting folks, both students and faculty (also... worth a post... being older than faculty. 😂 ) and may even join a club or two. Yes yes, you know it... more detail to come 😉 ... but yeah, there's been a lot of good along the way, beyond the whining up top.

But take it all... the good, the bad, the exit, the move, the whatever... all of it, up until now, has been the prologue.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow we drop the token in the slot.

Tomorrow we put our hands on the controls, and press '1UP'.

Tomorrow the next adventure begins.

Game on.

I just signed a lease.

I don't move-in until the 24th. I have to get shit set up like insurance and utilities. But the lease, is signed.

I'm committed for the the next year. In Septempter, I'll pay the first semester's tuition. At that point, I'll be committed for the next 2 years or so.

I don't know, I'm strangely comfortable floating.

Yet, suddenly... I'm anchored.

Did I make the right choice? Choices? In any of this? I dunno. I don't. Immediately though, an ice ball settled into my stomach as soon as I clicked the 'sign' button. I'm locked in.

I won't lie... I'm worried that I'm setting myself up to repeat history... again.

I'm almost 50. 😐

Oof.... OK. So, we'll get back to positive in the next post, I hope... but for now, I'm just sharing it real-time. It's scary, it's frustrating, and I can't tell if it reeks of desperation or it's really me taking one more stab at finding some level of stability and whatever.

But I'm here. Whatever I started has officially begun.

😐

I probably starting playing poker at a hobby level about 10 years ago. I pretty much only play No Limit Texas Hold 'Em. It's a casual hobby, but one that I enjoy more & more as I get deeper & deeper into the various strategies of play.

After playing live poker for the first time, in Vegas, about 6 years ago, I've taken several trips back solely to play.

Aside from Vegas, there are a few other places where you can gamble that isn't on a Native American reservation. Michigan, happens to be one of those places. 🙂

Not only are online cash poker games legal here in MI, but there's also a few casinos in downtown Detroit... including the MGM Grand.

On my second Friday night in Michigan, my little FR-S found her tires spinning along the highway straight towards downtown Detroit. 20 minutes later, I was parked at the MGM Grand Casino in Detroit. Not long after I was walking my way through the casino floor for the first time, seeking the poker room.

Wow. Not only was there a poker room... but it was packed! 😀

I walked into the poker room at 7:00 and it was a full 30 minutes before I got off the wait list. Longer than I'd want to wait, obviously, but it's a great sign that they're so busy.

I played for 4 hours... choosing to head out at 11:30 because I was just exhausted. You can be sure I'll be leaving this casino in the early, early hours of the day in the future. I'm super stoked to have such good, high-quality poker just minutes away. Super stoked.

If you don't play poker, it's worth pointing out that the only good poker is cash based. It's not a snobbery thing or anything like that, but if real money isn't on the line, people just refuse to play the game seriously enough. So, yes, having legit poker legal and close is genuinely a boon.

Part of the fun of live poker is, in fact, the table talk. Socializing with a bunch of randos... some of which you'll share the next half a day with. It's just like every other human social experiment. Sometimes you get good, fun tables, sometimes shitty ones. Sometimes you even get into little social cliques - whether based on seat position, play style, or just being a regular.

Hilariously, sometimes you also get personality battles among the tables. Disagreements which take on a fantastic dynamic when you're all playing poker (again, for real money!) and are therefore able to piss off someone verbally and then "attack" them financially. It's all great fun. It really, really is.

Well, last night was a great time. Although I've played the MGM Grand in Vegas many, many, many times before... I was surprised to find some of the table rules were different at MGM Gran in Detroit. I"m not a fan of some of the changes, but it's all silly, side-rule shit... the game itself is unchanged.

Beyond the game, was four hours of hanging out with some other Poker folks. There were 5 people (besides me) who were there the entire time. Which left 2 seats of folks joining, busting, and leaving. This is a much slower turnover rate than I've seen in Vegas, and without turning this in to a poker strategy blog, I'll just say that it'll change how I play... so that's be interesting.

Beyond the game strategy, it also meant that for 4 hours I was at the table with the same 5 people... most of which were chatting along. Again, it was just a really nice time. But also, all of them are locals, and regulars. You can clearly tell that there are many regulars. I'm sure I'll get to know many of these people quite a bit more over the next two years.

And, hopefully, I catch enough good cards and play them well enough to keep me there for many, many hours to come.

Speaking of catching good cards, did I win big on my first night? 🙂 Man... I wanted to. I mean, you always do, but wouldn't it have been nice if my first night in I'd hit it big and start this whole thing with a proper bang? 🙂 Well... I did not win big. I bought in for $300, and walked out with $528.... so at least I didn't lose anything.... but a $3,000 night would've been an epic start to my MI poker life. 😉

That's fine... I still need something to aim for on my second night (which... may be tonight). 😀

So let's add a couple more points to the 'Win' column. It's nice to have good quality poker nearby. And maybe, as I become one of the regulars as well, I'll find another social circle blooming.

I like airports. I do. Maybe, even, I love airports.

I don't know what it is, but I enjoy everything about airports except for going through the security bullshit. But quite literally everything else? Love it. That hustle? Love it. The bustle? Give me a double? Those people movers (the moving floor, treadmill, thingie)? Give me 3 in a row with a little gap between each so I can walk on them and launch myself to each next platform, please!

Know what else I love? Hotels. All of that too. The new room. The made bed. Your entire world fitting in a carry-on and a personal bag. Like a dandelion floating around in the wind. Is there a pool? Well... maybe I will! Did you say a complimentary continental breakfast with that little make-your-own-waffle set-up? I may have died and gone to heaven.

You know, when I was in my 20's I worked for this company that had this client. We were in San Antonio, TX, but the client was in Ann Arbor, Michigan (crazy coincidence). There was this point with one of our big projects with said client that they needed very aggressive on-site support. The short story is that that I ended up volunteering to "take the brunt" of the support and travel to Michigan. I can't remember if it was every other week, or one week a month, but for a short while I was traveling very, very often.

You know what's funny? I won some big points at work for stepping up and sacrificing my time. 🥲 I never did tell them how much I loved giving a big tip on a fat steak that was all being paid for ye olde employer. Or how much I loved that single fucking mint sitting on my pillow every, single, night I returned from the day.

My Tiny House

This isn't the first road trip in my little 2 seater. It's at least my 3rd major one. It's not the first time I've slept in my car for that exact reason. But, on those other trips sleeping in my car was a hear-or-there occurrence between planned camping or planned hotel stays.

This time around, it's been a lot more of the sleeping-in-car than I wanted. And, maybe I'll cover some of that in some other post, but I don't want to digress here. But the micro-version is I have other options now, but logistically it turns out to be easier to crash night-by-night than try and plan whatever as I'm figuring out the apartment.

On top of that, it was also planned poorly and hastily (I will literally blame 100% of everything that's happened so far on the entire elevator debacle) because of the rushed exit. I did indeed pack the car for a little camping time, but I've been in the city the whole time... and the road trip was just a mad dash across the country.

OK... so, yes yes, this could be going better. And, in this current phase where I'm literally burning hours just waiting to hear about the apartment, it is shittier than I want. Yes. But, wanna know something? I kinda love it. 🙂

I mean, there are some big, big pains that I could do without. And I'm spending money on gas as if I'm taking a stand against both, financial literacy and environmental sustainability. But I don't find myself having to look too far passed all that to really enjoy myself.

There's a ton of stress regarding the housing situation in every sense (location, timing, availability). But these last couple of days, where I'm stuck just waiting, there's really nothing to stress out about... kinda fun. 😋

I'm "homeless" right now (in the most superficial sense of the word). But, what if I didn't need the apartment to be home?

Do You Know #VanLife? Wanna be a Digital Nomad?

Depending on where you hang out on the internet, the #VanLife movement was pretty popular for a hot second like 5-10 years ago. During that time, I was eating it all up (and left no crumbs?). Airport-loving Kane was all, about, the van life.

Except the no-toilet thing, that was the deal breaker.

But it appealed to me then and always has.

The 'Digital Nomad' was another rager that had its 15 minutes of fame. And, yes, I was all over that too. I still am... more than ever honestly. Quite frankly, if I can end up a successful white-collar digital nomad after the Master's... that alone would make it all worth it.

Anyway, I've always liked the idea of van life, but never found it quite practical enough to give it a try. Though, to be honest, 20/20 hindsight has made it pretty clear I should've spent my money of VanLife and not rotting away in Seattle. Poor choice... but that's neither hear or there now. Back to my point... airport-loving Kane has always loved the idea of van life, even if just as a fantasy.

Did You Say Fantasy? C'mere Baby, I'll Make This Fantasy... Reality!

You know what's been the hardest thing about car life so far? It's not the smallness of living in a 2-seater. It's not even sleeping in the front seat... which has been made shockingly comfortable with a body pillow, a lumbar support pillow, a normal pillow, and the most comfortable planet on the planet. No, honestly, sleeping is surprisingly not bad.

The hardest thing so far is, now that I'm not looking at apartments and talking to leasing agents... wtf do I do with my time? I've been to the movies once, I've been to Dave & Busters twice, another place with go-karts and stuff, and I've spent tons and tons of time in Culver's, Starbucks, and IKEA just to have a place to sit on the laptop.

You know what solves this, other than a house?

🙂

A van.

Now, let's push it a little further. Since getting here... I'm blown away at how many high-roof cargo vans with solar panels and roof vents I've seen. And at every single rest area and truck stop I've stayed in, there's always a handful.

[Fuck.... when I get pictures working, I'll come back here and update this post with some pictures of vans in a parking lot. Until then... imagine them! A dark blue one parked in the corner. 3 Mercedes Sprinters, all in for the night. Beautiful pictures taken by a true photographer.]

When I was fantasizing about van life while living in the Pacific Northwest, I was imagine van life out there. Out there, if you're living van life, you're largely living in campsites and state & national parks. If you don't have a toilet, you're pooping in the woods.

Here the people sleeping next to me are minutes away from civilization (if they want to be), and have ready and easy access to showers and clean toilets pretty easily. Van life here seems just the tiniest bit less crazy out here. And these aren't the broken down RV jalopies that would infest neighborhoods in Seattle. These are modern day vans which, from the outside, look pretty nice. The ones I'm seeing online for like $8OK.

Admittedly I've only been here during good weather. Also, it's been barely over a week, and my spend rate is much too high to be sustainable. Long term would require groceries and cooking. So, I totally know that I've got some rose-colored glasses on. But still, it hasn't been the worst... and when I look at how apartments here are either A) way too expensive or B) way too rundown... I dunno. 🙂 Fun to fantasize I guess.

So... Never?

In the first few days, when I was a bit freaked out about landing a place to begin-with, I spent one night looking at used vans in the area. It was... a back up plan. If things go smoothly, I should have a lease signed in the next couple of days... and will, in fact, be living in an enclosed wooden structure for the next 12 months.

After that? Well... a year from now, I expect life to be looking and tasting very different. And if life looks different, decisions do too. 🙂

I'm probably never going to actually do the van life thing. I admit that. But... who knows... I also said I'd never go to grad school.

Whatever the case, this road trip hasn't been what I wanted. The apartment hunt has taken way longer than I wanted. But stress and school logistics aside, it's been nice to float a bit... and just fall where life pushes you.

The Master's degree will take 2 years to finish, maybe a bit less. I'll have to work 2 or 3 years afterwards to recoup the costs. That takes me to 50 years old... maybe 51.

If it turns out I'm happiest floating... then I should consider floating a little more before my time on our blue little planet wraps up. No?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Not just the housing situation... but the fact I'm signing up for a lot of work and a lot of debt in the coming years. Hopefully, I'm buying wings, and not anchors...